Amy’s Choice

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I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens!

The Next Doctor

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. Did I mention we have comfy chairs?

  • I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!
  • Did I mention we have comfy chairs?
  • Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today.
  • Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?
  • I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in.

Cold Blood

Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today. No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister. Saving the world with meals on wheels.

Amy’s Choice

I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you? No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness. No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister.

  1. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.
  2. It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’!
  3. You’ve swallowed a planet!
  4. Did I mention we have comfy chairs?
The Lodger

I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. You’ve swallowed a planet! I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! Saving the world with meals on wheels. Did I mention we have comfy chairs?

Afternoon delight

SEO

I’m a monster. As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. I’m afraid I just blue myself. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

Mr. F

Whoa, this guy’s straight? Well, what do you expect, mother? I’ve opened a door here that I regret. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time!

  • Michael!
  • We just call it a sausage.
  • Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer.
  • Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer.

Ready, Aim, Marry Me

Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. Army had half a day. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. Well, what do you expect, mother? But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore? Steve Holt!

Exit Strategy

Steve Holt! Marry me. No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Marry me.

  1. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.
  2. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish.
  3. That’s why you always leave a note!
Let ‘Em Eat Cake

I’m half machine. I’m a monster. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” I’m a monster.

That’s Lobstertainment

Branding, ,

And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who’s gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet. Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers? No, I’m Santa Claus! Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say. Check it out, y’all. Everyone who was invited is here. Can we have Bender Burgers again?

The Honking

And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it! Is today’s hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient? Calculon is gonna kill us and it’s all everybody else’s fault! It’s okay, Bender. I like cooking too. Good news, everyone! There’s a report on TV with some very bad news! I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though!

  • For example, if you killed your grandfather, you’d cease to exist!
  • I don’t ‘need’ to drink. I can quit anytime I want!
  • No. We’re on the top.
  • Our love isn’t any different from yours, except it’s hotter, because I’m involved.

The Why of Fry

Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! Bender, I didn’t know you liked cooking. That’s so cute. You’ve killed me! Oh, you’ve killed me!

I Dated a Robot

You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! You guys go on without me! I’m going to go… look for more stuff to steal! Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems. And yet you haven’t said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? For example, if you killed your grandfather, you’d cease to exist!

  1. But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop.
  2. You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites?
  3. Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers?
  4. Dear God, they’ll be killed on our doorstep! And there’s no trash pickup until January 3rd.
  5. Fetal stemcells, aren’t those controversial?
Less Than Hero

I don’t ‘need’ to drink. I can quit anytime I want! Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony? Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you! I meant ‘physically’. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually? And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who’s gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet.

Rebirth

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Rebirth

Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun! And yet you haven’t said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.

Less Than Hero

Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography. But I’ve never been to the moon! As an interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead. You mean while I’m sleeping in it? I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness. Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk!

  • Kids don’t turn rotten just from watching TV.
  • You don’t know how to do any of those.

The Series Has Landed

I’m just glad my fat, ugly mama isn’t alive to see this day. Bender, we’re trying our best. I don’t ‘need’ to drink. I can quit anytime I want! No! Don’t jump! Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.

Amazon Women in the Mood

Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died. Shut up and take my money! Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony? Kids have names? Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away!

  1. Too much work. Let’s burn it and say we dumped it in the sewer.
  2. Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating.
  3. Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be…
Godfellas

Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by “devil”, I mean Robot Devil. And by “metaphorically”, I mean get your coat. I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later. Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn’t you just get me the death penalty? Check it out, y’all. Everyone who was invited is here. Bender, I didn’t know you liked cooking. That’s so cute.